This is how it feels....
On happy news, I'm glad to announce that M.B. Whimsical has officially graduated from High School.
Yes, I'm excited about this new kind of freedom I'm about to begin. I'm excited about what's next, about making it happen, my dreams. I'm excited about college and everything I'll learn.
But honestly, I'm kinda nostalgic. And scared.
Allright, I'm terrified. And when I say nostalgic I mean at the verge of tears.
I guess I can't believe it's actually over. I mean, it's something we have always known would be over, but it is over...it's that kind of things you think you understand but when they happen you realize you don't. This is about your whole life changing, it's not about just leaving for the summer and then coming back for another school year, this is about real life.
It's about no more hanging out with your friends because you'll be miles apart. And yes we'll see each other on holidays and whatever, but it's hard to grasp that it will never ever be the same.
It's about leaving home and everything it implies. A safety net. If anything happened to us, we knew back home it would all be all right. Nothing will ever replace the warmth of our beds and home made meal, and lazy late Sunday brunches.
It's like we've been on rehearsals and we're about to start performing. And we are. We've spent the past 18 years get prepared for life, theoretically, but in reality, what is real life? Do these 18 years count as real life? Or does it begin the moment we start taking care of ourselves? (and I mean real care)
Our decisions will be now be ours and no one else's. No more mom and dad cleaning up messes our decisions caused. No more excuses, ever.
And I guess that will be one of the hardest parts of breaking out into real life.
Everything we've lived has been like virtual.
We can't help but as ourselves "Are we ready for this?" "Will we make it out there? Will we survive?"
And I can answer myself this: Will I survive? Yes, I will survive (Please don't start singing!) But I don't wanna just survive. It's not enough. Not for me.
And it's a scary thought. But everything in this life(real or virtual) is scary at first isn't it?
You just have to close your eyes and count 1,2,3 and jump.
But of course, it's always easier to say it than to do it.
It's really hard to think that we're never coming back.
All graduated, please listen to "The Graduation Song" by Vitamin C. I've been told it's really iconic up in the U.S., but I had never listened to it before a month ago.
It describes perfectly and exactly how I feel.
For now all I can really say is I'll never forget that night in June.
Infinite x's & o's...