6/23/2008

This is how it feels....


On happy news, I'm glad to announce that M.B. Whimsical has officially graduated from High School.

Yes, I'm excited about this new kind of freedom I'm about to begin. I'm excited about what's next, about making it happen, my dreams. I'm excited about college and everything I'll learn.
But honestly, I'm kinda nostalgic. And scared.

Allright, I'm terrified. And when I say nostalgic I mean at the verge of tears.

I guess I can't believe it's actually over. I mean, it's something we have always known would be over, but it is over...it's that kind of things you think you understand but when they happen you realize you don't. This is about your whole life changing, it's not about just leaving for the summer and then coming back for another school year, this is about real life.

It's about no more hanging out with your friends because you'll be miles apart. And yes we'll see each other on holidays and whatever, but it's hard to grasp that it will never ever be the same.
It's about leaving home and everything it implies. A safety net. If anything happened to us, we knew back home it would all be all right. Nothing will ever replace the warmth of our beds and home made meal, and lazy late Sunday brunches.

It's like we've been on rehearsals and we're about to start performing. And we are. We've spent the past 18 years get prepared for life, theoretically, but in reality, what is real life? Do these 18 years count as real life? Or does it begin the moment we start taking care of ourselves? (and I mean real care)
Our decisions will be now be ours and no one else's. No more mom and dad cleaning up messes our decisions caused. No more excuses, ever.
And I guess that will be one of the hardest parts of breaking out into real life.
Everything we've lived has been like virtual.
We can't help but as ourselves "Are we ready for this?" "Will we make it out there? Will we survive?"
And I can answer myself this: Will I survive? Yes, I will survive (Please don't start singing!) But I don't wanna just survive. It's not enough. Not for me.
And it's a scary thought. But everything in this life(real or virtual) is scary at first isn't it?
You just have to close your eyes and count 1,2,3 and jump.

But of course, it's always easier to say it than to do it.
It's really hard to think that we're never coming back.

All graduated, please listen to "The Graduation Song" by Vitamin C. I've been told it's really iconic up in the U.S., but I had never listened to it before a month ago.
It describes perfectly and exactly how I feel.


For now all I can really say is I'll never forget that night in June.

Infinite x's & o's...
M.B. Whimsical

6 comments:

gilda said...

hey kitten. congrats on graduation.

wow high school.... that seems like such a long time ago for me. thanks for that link on icing to the youtube video. it was amazing. and perhaps exactly what you need to hear right now. :)

i haven't regretted a single thing i did since leaving high school... even though it was a long road to get to where i am now. but it's all worth it and i'm living my dream. make yours happen!!!

xox

M.B. Whimsical said...

thank you sooo much!
isn't that video amazing?
I want to be like that you know, I want to wake up everyday and ask myself if I what I'm about to do is what I want to do...And I want to say yes.
It's amazing that you have never regretted anything...I think that's a key to happiness, and a key to making dreams come true.
And you made yours true. And I know I'm making mine.

Thank you very much your sweet comment just made my day complete.

Oh and you have many readers help me spread the video!

Vieve said...

Oh yeah - I remember that song. It makes you cry, especially after you really know what it feels like.

I haven't seen my friends from high school in two years - and I probably won't see them again for at least two more, once I've graduated college. Things change, you meet new people, make new friends.

There's the potential to grow up and really develop yourself that first year in college that it's just crazy. It's a great time to realize that you should just be yourself, do exactly what makes you happy, because it's not worth it not to.

There'll still be sad time, because there always are, but you're about to have the time of your life - trust me <3 :D

Material Girl said...

Glad you agree that my kitty is the cutest...he's bigger now and wears a camo-print collar, but it doesn't make him any more intimidating :)

And as for graduating high school and going to college: congrats, first of all, and don't take it so seriously! As a veteran of high school, college and grad school, I can tell you that college is by no means a giant leap into "real life." You're still cared for and entertained and provided for quite a bit. It's certainly a welcome step up in responsibility from high school, but I found that people really increase in maturity only as much as they want to, college or no. It's graduating from COLLEGE that tends to get us all in a big panty-twist...so don't worry, cupcake, you've nothing to worry about yet. Anticipate and enjoy! It'll be more fun than you think.

gilda said...

hey cupcake. so how's it going? are you going off to college soon?

M.B. Whimsical said...

yes...tomorrow!
And I suck at packing. LOL
I just want to take everything with me!!!!